[You'd know, by now, that he isn't normally this indirect, that he only ever gets like that when he either can't put it into words or it has to do with himself.]
[He is suddenly reminded of one of his worst moments in 2012: Mapayapa Village, sitting with Tala Vega, dealing, for the first time in his life, with her insatiable Need to Know.
Sigh.]
That we're both good, but now isn't the time even if the feelings we have for each other are mutual.
[ She's probably heard that so many times. It's an unfortunate circumstance that affects even her peers from high school only theirs was a lot less complicated. And it wasn't something that took hundreds of years to develop. ]
Because too much shit has happened. This is the first time, in his twenty-nine cycles, that I can safely say that we're seeing eye-to-eye.
[It just gets hard, sometimes. But Alistair Mordechai has always been one to soldier on and figure shit out as he goes along. And he is liking this direction, even with its occasional potholes.]
Is it? I don't know. Never really thought about it that way.
[He just figured it was... right of him to do this. Sure, it had been awkward. Sure, maybe he didn't have to kiss Hikaru that night --
Right. No. He had to, because that was how they worked. That was probably how they were ALWAYS going to work. Actions, rather than words. Timing. Grace.]
Well, people make mistakes even if they're like a bajillion years old and are super strong and smart. It's just nice having someone really stick it out with you no matter what, you know?
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I'm sorry....
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Don't be.
[Quiet, but truthful. He's not just saying it to get her off of his back.]
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[ Looking at him now. ]
Why so tense though?
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[Vague on purpose, because he does try to keep his mind away from. Well. That.
He's resolved to carry on like this. He'll stick to it, because it's good for them both.]
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Like what?
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[You'd know, by now, that he isn't normally this indirect, that he only ever gets like that when he either can't put it into words or it has to do with himself.]
I'll be fine.
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[ This one doesn't understand vague, yo. ]
[ "I'll be fine? REALLY?" ] You also remind me of something. Or well, someone.
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He picked that up from me, I think.
[Yeah, let's focus on that, not the whole truth thing just yet.]
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Girl has GOT to know. ]
Yeah, I figured. So what truth do I remind you of?
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Sigh.]
That we're both good, but now isn't the time even if the feelings we have for each other are mutual.
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What makes you say that?
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[It just gets hard, sometimes. But Alistair Mordechai has always been one to soldier on and figure shit out as he goes along. And he is liking this direction, even with its occasional potholes.]
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[ Yep, she gets it. ]
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[Patience is kind of his middle name when it comes to Hikaru Shinta.]
He needs it more than ever now.
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That's very considerate of you.
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[He just figured it was... right of him to do this. Sure, it had been awkward. Sure, maybe he didn't have to kiss Hikaru that night --
Right. No. He had to, because that was how they worked. That was probably how they were ALWAYS going to work. Actions, rather than words. Timing. Grace.]
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Why would you say that? By what I gather, everything you do for him is for like, his own good or something.
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[They've had a long and interesting run.]
It's... different now. We're both trying to make it different. So.
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Well, people make mistakes even if they're like a bajillion years old and are super strong and smart. It's just nice having someone really stick it out with you no matter what, you know?
[ Real sound advice, Bri. ]
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[...Wait a minute.]
We should go back to your training.
[Admittedly, he has an ulterior motive. Talks like this ALWAYS make him uncomfortable.]
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And besides, even if she did suddenly want to ask something, there's always next weekend.
Scheduled things are amazing. He. He. He. ]
I'm okay with that!